Black Eyed Peas impresario will.i.am is building a custom white Delorean, powered by an Audi V8, because let’s face it, that’s exactly the sort of thing will.i.am would do.
Looking like the unholy union between a Apple mouse from the 1980s and Megatron’s pet catfish, this white creation used to be a Delorean before Mr. i.am (real name William James Adams Jr., in case you needed some pub quiz ammo) got his Grammy-winning mitts on it. The car has been reskinned in lightweight aluminum underneath a body shape that manages to combine comically exaggerated fender and box flares. There’s a Beats by Dr. Dre sound system in the reupholstered interior, because this m-fer doesn’t act like he forgot about DRE. In a bout of innovative thinking, the door reinforcement beams appear to be on the outside, much like the Pompidou building airs its innards to passers-by. Chrysler will supply OEM parts, allegedly—from either a 300, a 200, or a 1993 Plymouth Acclaim. Which doesn’t explain the Audi 4.2-liter V-8 engine from its R8 supercar that it’s rumored to have (though one source cited a GM small-block, and another cited unicorn dust and Fergie’s arm sweat as potential motivators), nor its sad-frog, frowny-faced upside-down-Saab-grille styling that resembles the bizarre outfits from his group’s equally bizarre music videos. At least it maintains its source car’s gull-wing doors, otherwise we’d be dealing with a real clunker on our hands.
“I went to Chrysler and got a whole bunch of parts to where it’s still certified as a legal vehicle on the streets,” said i.am. “So I don’t really mess with the airbag configurations or things like that. Kept the chassis and we create the shell, which is the body and the interior and the audio interface.”
The Black Eyed Peas frontman (does that band even have a frontman? Can it even be called a band?) and holder of the most creative use of punctuation since e.e. cummings plans to peddle this creation as the work of East Los Angeles residents, “’cause I want to bring jobs to the ghetto that I come from,” he said. A noble goal, but if giving city dwellers something to do is the plan, anything more artistically inspiring could stand in as a replacement.
Oh, and the car company will be called IAMAUTO, in a twist of playful punctuation rendering that probably qualifies i.am for a MacArthur Genius Grant these days. And yes, it will be a car company—i.am intends on selling the things to an easily amused public, and you may even buy one someday, cruising down Olympic or Sepulveda blasting “My Humps” with a refreshing lack of irony.
“It’s sick, it’s really fresh,” said i.am, rendering anyone over the age of 45 out of the Pealorean’s target market. Hey, the hip-hop world needs its own Henry Ford and somebody to make that pissant Kanye finally shut up. Besides, did we mention it has gull-wing doors?