No, the title of this post does not indicate that luxury cars will give you cancer. And boy, we can’t wait for that fearmongering causation/correlation post to sweep the “blogosphere:” BMWs cause prostate cancer! Audis to blame for leukemia? But until that erroneous line of reasoning happens—sometime next week when it gets picked up by MSN, or until our well-meaning mothers email us three months after the fact—we’ll just live happily and blissfully with the fact that everything causes cancer. Respice post te, hominem te esse memento, memento mori!
Monday, June 11
Cadillac says, “we’re gonna need a bigger boat.” For those of you misty-eyed nostalgics tearing up over the notion of a 19-foot DeVille Brougham with opera windows, six ashtrays (for only the finest of robustos, natch) and a V-8 engine that could overpower Ivan Drago himself, well, GM president Mark Reuss knows what that feels like. The 2013 Cadillac XTS is a good car—even a big car—but it’s certainly not Cadillac-y enough. Think Elvis here. What would The King drive? The four-doored Cadillac Ciel, the most American Cadillac ever designed by a skinny Frenchman yet. See? The notion of a big Cadillac sounds the same in any accent.
Tuesday, June 12
Honda is planning to recall around 50,000 Civics for the minor detail of losing a driveshaft and possibly causing the car to veer out of control irresponsibly, into a ditch or a 7-Eleven. Fortunately, nothing of the sort has been reported so far before owners get notified at the end of June, but cripes, can you imagine the potential quagmire? I mean, somebody sued Honda just for some slipped MPGs, and even that went on for months.
Wednesday, June 13
Good news: our cars are becoming safer. And as a result, people are meeting their untimely fate less from the wheel of a car. The NHTSA, which rightfully has its pulse on these matters, found that even within the last decade, automotive safety has improved dramatically enough to save 2,000 lives and over 1 million injuries. Good for the automakers, and good for us humans. Because this means that instead, we’ll meet our ultimate demise from…
Thursday, June 14
…diesel fumes, which definitely cause lung cancer, according to the World Health Organization. And for some people—blue-collar workers and miners, for instance, and those who live in third world countries—there’s little respite from the sooty, smelly smoke. Diesel has been linked as a potential carcinogen, but the World Health Organization is the first group to officially elevate its status to the same level as cigarettes and asbestos. All of which are things you do not want to stick your head near.
Friday, June 15
The 2013 Acura RLX was spotted dallying in the Arizona desert. This is a big car for Acura: it’s the company’s latest and greatest, at the top of its lineup, and it should represent everything the company’s capable of. After all, it’s going against some lofty BMW- and Benz- sized targets. And with an electric-hybrid drivetrain and all-wheel Super Handling drive, the RLX should be entertaining and comfortable—more so than the way it looks, at least.