Keeping in tradition with stuffing ludicrous engines into everything short of a Braunschweig-class corvette, Mercedes-Benz has a price to go with the ML63 AMG’s twin-turbocharged, 5.5-liter V-8 engine: $95,865. With a 0-60 time of 4.7 seconds, that equates to $20,396 per second. How fast do you want to go?
For the well-heeled who pay attention to this sort of thing, that’s still cheaper than a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, which starts at $107,000—but the Porsche rockets to 60 mph 3/10ths of a second faster, at 4.4 seconds. Again, if that sort of thing is important. But if performance isn’t the be-all, end-all to ludicrously quick SUVs, Mercedes has the bravado to claim that the ML63 AMG’s 16 mpg “marks a 33-percent improvement over its predecessor.” Hey, who’s keeping score here?
Also, it’s a crapshoot to see which one looks better—both are sufficiently angry and wide-mouthed, but the Cayenne is curvier while the Mercedes looks like it’s been pre-dented. But for those 99-percenters whose kidneys can’t even secure the down payment on one of these bruisers, take solace in the fact that we’ll all be tailgated by one on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway soon enough.