From the “Why The Hell Not?” files, Aston Martin wants to give its ugly-duckling Cygnet some more of that vaunted Aston Martin mystique and desirability, none of which the Toyota iQ-based practical joke possesses. Which is why Aston Martin’s engineers, presumably between booze-drenched rounds of snooker and embarrassing personal bets, decided that cramming the 6.0-liter V-12 engine from the sumptuous V-12 Vantage inside the four-wheeled fashion accessory, like a comically overpacked suitcase, might not be such a bad idea.
It will be exactly 5 times more powerful than the current Cygnet’s 1.3-liter, 97-horsepower hamster wheel, with exactly 461 percent more displacement. “If there is enough customer demand,” says Autocar—that is, spoiled Middle Eastern oil fortune heirs—then Aston Martin will build a V-12 Cygnet. Hey, isn’t that how capitalism works?
Where would the V-12 go? On the roof, presumably. Or perhaps in its own Radio Flyer wagon, tied behind the Cygnet’s bumper and maxing out the car’s towing capacity, which in official Toyota terms is “not recommended.” Either way, if we can engineer a nuclear-powered rover to land on Mars, or a Nissan Juke to be desirable, then a V-12 Cygnet won’t be the weirdest thing to leap from the fevered machinations of humanity. Just ask this guy.