Yes, the Mercedes-Benz A-Class is coming to America. Wrap your mind around that, people. The idea of a small Mercedes-Benz hatchback, no bigger than a Volkswagen Golf, comes from the fodder of 1980s standup comedian hacks alongside the idea of “jumbo shrimp” and airline food servings. But yes, it is inevitably coming to America, as the Germans continue their relentless assault on every possible niche in the market short of Class IV motorhomes and dune buggies.
The A-Class has been a mainstay of Europe for a while, as they’ve gotten used to the idea of a compact luxury car that still has all the electronic toys. And to this end, Mercedes-Benz is touting its active collision prevention technology with this ad that shows an A-Class dodging giant metal boulders as dropped by a vengeful crash test dummy channeling his inner Daft Punk. Because what else, as Mercedes says, is “the pulse of a new generation?”
The driver is Nico Rosberg, a Mercedes-Benz F1 driver who undoubtedly has the skill to maneuver an A-Class without the electronic technology that cynics froth are “ruining Formula 1.” For those of us blessed without steely nerves and razor-sharp jawlines, Benz’s Collision Preventive Assist (which first debuted on the B-Class, another tiny Benz that will make more heads spin) consists of a forward collision warning and an active brake assist. The two are designed to work in tandem to prevent rear-end collisions; the warning uses radar to monitor cars in front, and alerts the driver with lights and sirens to stop, while the brake assist firms up the brake pedal in anticipation of stopping.
The system is not, however, designed to stop dubstep-cranking sentient robot dummies that have taken over a shipping facility that transports irregularly-shaped, car-sized ingots. You’re on your own for that one.