“Howdy Stu, hear you just got a new Beemer! Bet you are glad you cleared out of that hedge fund early like I told you!” These words are uttered by Bronson Sheckleswoth III, a bond trader who somehow managed to “do okay” during our current financial crisis. He is also oddly totally unaware that insider trading is illegal.
“Oh yeah!” replied Stu, his somewhat more environmentally and socially aware cubicle-mate. At least he thought he was because he saw that Al Gore movie about melting polar ice caps. “But I didn’t get the model I said I was going to. I know I ordered the twin-turbo V8 X6 but all I could think about were those poor polar bears swimming out in the open ocean. So instead I got a four cylinder 3 series. It’s much more fuel efficient and environmentally sensitive.”
Stu didn’t realize that his routine regimen of leasing vehicles for three years and then dumping them at the end of the term wasn’t really at that environmentally sensitive as it entailed a new vehicle having to be repeatedly manufactured from the earth’s precious resources. But at least he was worried about those polar bears, so in his heart he felt he was “supporting a cause.”
As Bronson stared at the value of the devalued investment portfolios of his customers, he let out a cackle as he could see he had avoided their fate by bailing out early. But something about what Stu had said really bothered him, “A four cylinder BMW? Are you mad? We are robber-barons stomping on the backs of the savings of the retired and working masses. We don’t do “environmentally sensitive” engines. You will be laughed out of the car park! This is nearly as bad as the time the Feds went after that poor woman, Leona Helmsley. I mean, she paid those employees! They dared to turn her in for tax evasion just because she burned them with her cigarettes! The world has gone mad! Don’t tell me I can even get a four cylinder now for my 5 series!”
While the above exchange between these two characters is entirely fictional, the possibility of BMW selling four cylinder versions of its 1, 3 and (shockingly) 5 series is looking highly likely. Reasons for this pretty much boil down to the manufacturer’s need to meet increasingly stringent fuel economy and emissions regulations in this country.
But all is not lost for BMW fans with memories of the woeful 318ti, just have a look over at Audi and its use of turbo charging and supercharging on its 4 cylinder models. While Audis are not known to handle as well as BMWs, that is due to their use of all wheel drive.
A properly tuned four cylinder from BMW should still be good for over 200 horsepower. The days of the 130 hp four cylinder BMW are behind us, at least for our market. And what with the latest technological gains and the wonders of direct injection, these vehicles should be equally as fuel efficient as their lesser powered forebears.
The only concern BMW most likely has is public perception. Many people feel that as a luxury brand, BMW’s should only come equipped with the most technologically advanced 6 and 8 cylinders. While it is true BMW has always had the best engines, ruling out their capacity to make a truly exceptional four banger is short sighted.
Our view? The market beneath BMW is full of sedans like the Honda Accord, Toyota Camry and Chevy Malibu which have all started to favor four cylinder power as of late. With the economy in the doldrums and gas prices in constant flux, we think a four cylinder designed by the engine masterminds at the Bavarian Motor Werke is a fine alternative to (horror!) buying a hybrid. Even Stu and Bronson could see this changeover as a “fine investment” in the future of BMW in this country.
via Business Week