Did your mother ever tell you it was what was on the inside that really counted?
Well, we doubt she meant that to be true when it comes to automotive design.
Rarely when a car hits every branch as it falls out of the ugly tree do buyers flock be the first owners on the block. It is just a fact that has borne itself out time and time again. Just ask the poor Pontiac Aztek.
We are living in a golden age of design in many respects. Just look at the solid interior architecture of Audi and the never endingly stylish works coming from the previous basket case known as Fiat Auto. The United States is also showing some strength on the world stage with vehicles like the 300C and the angular Cadillac CTS. All are brave designs that have captured the imaginations of the buying public.
In this line of thinking automotive website Jalopnik.com came up with its own top ten list of the most beautiful cars currently on sale. We couldn’t agree more with their top ten but are somewhat saddened that a number of these vehicles like the Citroen C6 and Fiat 500 are currently not for sale in this country.
Why don’t we get any of the good stuff? It’s not like every American finds the pinnacle of design to be the Chevy Cobalt. As follows is the Jalopnik.com top ten: If you have never heard of them just input the name in a Google image search and bask in their resplendent glow.
1. Alfa 8C Competizione
2. Aston Martin DB9
3. Alfa Romeo Brera
4. Maserati Gran Turismo
5. Cadillac CTS
6. Audi RS6 Avant (yes, a Wagon!)
7. Jaguar XK Coupe
8. Citroen C6
9. Fiat 500
10. Audi R8
We hope the return of Alfa Romeo and the possible launch here of the Fiat 500 will mean Americans will be able to have more access to the most stylish vehicles in the world. But by the same token, what vehicles are so ugly that their mamas should have slapped them when they were born? Or at least their designers should have had their Prada spectacles slapped right of their face. Here is the Automotive.com top ten of the ugliest cars available around the world.
1. Tata Nano – (This may be the least expensive car available anywhere in the world but does it have to look like an insect—after it has smashed into a windshield at 70mph? Just wondering.)
2. Buick Enclave – (When is a lot of chrome just too much chrome? How does this Buick manage to turn its attractive sister GMC Acadia into something akin to a banana slug wearing too much jewelry? Someone needs to be fired at Buick.)
3. Ssangyong Rodius – (More like the Ssangyong Odius, this pseudo-SUV out of Korea is so ugly it makes the aforementioned Aztek look like a Rodin. )
4. G-Wiz Electric Car – (This diminutive two seat electric car not only looks like it should be driven by a husband and wife clown duo, it also recently failed a European crash test in a horrific fashion. Makes the Ford Pinto look not only safe but stylish. Let’s hope the future of alternative fuel motoring is not foreshadowed by the G-Wiz.)
5. Toyota Prius – (We know, the exterior design of the Prius is to help aid in its fuel efficiency. But we would rather get a couple of miles per gallon less and not have to wear a hat and dark glasses whenever we went out in public. Go ahead, get mad and write letters. It won’t change the fact that the Prius is so ugly it could scare children under the age of five.)
6. Subaru Impreza – (What on earth were they thinking? Look at all of the stylish five door hatchbacks for sale in Europe and it is a wonder that they were able to turn this previously passably okay looking vehicle into a Quasimodo-like hunchback. So ugly it makes you long for the unique stylings of the five door hatchback 1981 Chevy Citation. )
7. Citroen C3 Pluriel – (This oddball is a coupe, a convertible and a pickup all in one. The problem is that it is a jack of all trades and a master of none. Ugliness is its raison d’etre, to use a decidedly French term. Typically flimsy Gallic build quality put the finishing touches on this embarrassingly ugly “vehicle.”)
8. Ford Focus – (We aren’t talking about the conservative VW-like European version, we are talking about the inexplicably resurgent (sales wise, at least) restyled U.S. variant. The headlights alone make it look like one of those cosmetic surgery operations gone bad that they show on television. Come on Ford, give us more than the automotive version of Zsa Zsa Gabor.)
9. Jeep Compass – (Even taking away the fact that this isn’t a “real” Jeep, this crossover looks less like a vehicle a grown up would drive and more like something that you find at the bottom of a cereal box. Ridiculous proportions and a silly bespectacled front end all add up to a design car crash.)
10. Chrysler Sebring – (Is this where it all started to go wrong for Chrysler after their short lived success with the 300C? Discuss. All we know is that we wouldn’t be caught dead driving this sedan so devoid of style it belongs at the bottom of a bargain bin at an outlet store. If Chrysler is to survive they can’t make mistakes like this again.)