Not every movie can be “The Dark Knight” and improve on its cinematic forebears in such an overwhelming way both financially and creatively. The same is true in the automobile world, as well.
So rarely do we get a great sequel to a groundbreaking original. Take the horrifically realized Ford Pinto based Mustang 2 from the Seventies. No, please. Take it.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have new takes on old favorites like the terrific “new” MINI Cooper. Not only does it capture the fun to drive, lovable spirit of the original, it was launched with a marketing plan that other automakers are still scrambling to re-create.
So in the history of cinema and automobile-dom, what have been some of the most abominable sequels of all time? Are there any synergistic similarities that link the two together? Check out our list below and see if our take on the worst sequels is a hit or a “Phantom Menace”-sized miss.
“The Godfather Part 3” and Ford Mustang 2. Both of these poorly constructed vehicles, based on groundbreaking franchises, nearly sank the goodwill given to the originals. Thankfully for both, the original Mustang and the “The Godfather” parts one and two were good enough to survive the momentary bad publicity.
“The Phantom Menace” and BMW 7-Series. Two words describe the views most people had with this film and the vehicle with a rear end bigger than J-Lo’s—“massive disappointment.” The “Star Wars” films had been -- and still are considered -- the seminal works in George Lucas’ space mythology. However, one thing nearly brought the whole franchise crashing down—Jar Jar Binks. As for the 7-Series, it had been in the past the aspirational model for anyone who wanted a cool sedan that looked as good as a tailored suit. The downfall? Chris Bangle and his “Bangle Butt.”
“Jaws: The Revenge” and the 1996 Ford Taurus. Oddly enough, both the shark in this horrible “Jaws” sequel and the newly ovoid Taurus managed to look like giant banana slugs. Neither the plot of “Jaws: The Revenge” nor the dashboard design of the Taurus made any sense whatsoever. “Jaws” brought about the notion of the summer movie blockbuster while the original Taurus was the first truly modern-looking American sedan. Their sequels? Bothsucked.
“Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde” and Volkswagen New Beetle. This Reese Witherspoon (and we use the term loosely) “comedy” and the New Beetle tried to skate by on their cuteness factor alone. But in the harsh light of day, the VW was shown to be a completely impractical front-engined, front-drive remake of a rear-engine, rear-drive icon. It was kind of like replacing the Porsche 911’s historical layout with that of a Toyota Corolla. Instead, VW just made the styling of said Corolla like a Porsche 911. How is that cool?
As for “Legally Blonde 2,” we realize the original was no classic but it had its own offbeat charm much like the original Beetle. The second crass rehash of the same comic themes lacked any sincerity, and not even the appearance of th e usually delightful Sally Field could help save it. We hated it, we really, really hated it.
“Speed 2: Cruise Control” and the Saturn Ion. While the original Saturn SL sedan and SC coupe were not exactly class leaders, they did manage to bring in a number of would be Honda Civic or Toyota Corolla buyers to the General Motors fold. Similarly, the original “Speed” was pretty much just “Die Hard” on a bus but managed with the onscreen chemistry of stars Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves to be just that little bit more. Their sequels, on the other hand, were both disasters of Titanic-sized proportions. (And we are not talking about the movie. We mean the sinking ship.)
In “Speed 2,” the action took place on a runaway cruise liner, not exactly the fastest mode of transportation on the planet. Why didn’t they just use a runaway scooter? As for the Ion, its tall greenhouse and odd proportions always gave us the impression that it was in danger of tipping over any second. With that level of peril inherent in driving this vehicle, we wonder why movie producers didn’t film “Speed 2” in a runaway Saturn Ion? Possibly because buyers were running away from it in droves. Just like movie goers of the similarly disastrous “Speed 2.”
“The Matrix Revolutions” and the New Subaru Impreza WRX. In their original forms, both “The Matrix” and the Subaru Impreza WRX revolutionized their respective niche in the market. “The Matrix” was the most original sci-fi film since the original “Star Wars” and the original Subaru brought about an onslaught of competitors like the Mitsubishi Lancer EVO. Alas, when sequel time came along both fell victim to a similar lack of visual and creative advancement. Is it us or do the tunnel digging machine monsters from “The Matrix Revolutions” bear a striking resemblance to the front of the hideously deformed new Impreza hunchback, we mean hatchback?