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I recently read a column written by Matthew DeBord published on the Wilmington, Delaware News-Journal website. In it, Mr. DeBord sticks up for GM's beleaguered Hummer brand, defending it as a proudly politically-incorrect, alpha-male symbol of American swagger and power. He bemoans the fact that the brand might be sold to a Chinese or Indian multi-national corporate conglomerate.
I say good riddance. I am far from your typical self-satisfied, holier-than-thou vegan Prius driver. I am a lifelong enthusiast, and can appreciate automotive character and performance. But as alluded to in DeBord's column, the Hummer is indeed a "caricature."
The Hummer H1, the original and closest relative to the mil-spec HMMWV or "Humvee" has gone the way of the Dodo, leaving only the suburbanized H2 and downsized H3. Granted, both are very capable off-road, as anything looking like these monstrosities should be. So the only models offered by Hummer are literally caricatures of the now non-existent original.
 As a counterpoint to these ridiculously over-the-top contrived styling exercises, drawn to prove to the world they're "real" four-wheelers, I give you the Jeep Wrangler. Now, some would say the Wrangler is equally as contrived as the Hummer, but I beg to differ. Yes, the Jeep is proudly angular in this day of anonymous jellybean shapes. Its styling clearly follows the pattern set by the original CJ that debuted decades earlier. Yet for some reason, the Jeep evokes almost universal warm-fuzzies from everyone from lifeguards to sorority girls to Utah back-country outdoorsmen (and women). Whereas the Hummer, in almost any form, evokes a visceral, knee-jerk revulsion by a significant sector of the American public.
Besides the symbolism inherent in the vehicles' respective births and subsequent evolutions (WW II for the Jeep, the first and second Gulf Wars for the Hummer), let's briefly analyze the styling and engineering of both. The H2 and H3 are festooned with non-functional or marginally functional plastic bric-a-brac that hearkens to something that was possibly functional in the original H1. The Jeep Wrangler, on the other hand, aside from a few vestigal appendages such as the protruding square taillights and round headlamps, has little non-functional styling gingerbread. Okay, so the doors come off, and the windshield folds down. But rather than being seen as patronizing vestiges, Jeep enthusiasts regard these features practically as requirements for a "real" Jeep.
DeBord argues that the Hummer should not become hybridized, or make any concession toward fuel efficiency or environmental consciousness. Well, that's fine. And you can expect the sales of such a vehicle to shrink proportionately to the number of obstinately anti-social buyers attracted to such a vehicle.
Contrary to the last several quarterly reports of the domestic automakers, car companies are in business to make money, not to keep nostalgic automotive icons on life support. If GM can't re-make Hummer to fit the new reality of the automotive marketplace, it should indeed be sold off or folded altogether. It will go down in the annals of enthusists as an interesting brand based on a truly unique vehicle that became more and more watered-down and contrived with each succeeding generation to the point of irrelevancy.
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